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Name: Kimmie
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 11/28/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: loving, listening to musics, being happy, making people happy, watching movies, hanging out with maH homies, crying, thinking, writing, reading, running, walking, eating, talking, drinking boba, singing, dancing, hoping and wishing well of course sleeping
Expertise: tennis, bball, singing, dancing, writing, playing around, sleeping...mostly up there...
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  kissm32morrow
Yahoo:  meditterean
Member Since:
1/15/2004
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| 無胃口去食野。晚晚自己吞自己既傷口泥做飯食。感覺好累﹐不過係不知不覺咁流淚。可能我係想流到沒有再有眼淚為佢流。點解﹐我唔可以自私一日去講出我既想法。因為你所講過既野令我無法去講出我心個句。就算我想講﹐你都唔備我去講。我個痛每一日都好似備針刺到。沒有再有個種關心。就算幾痛都好﹐你唔想知﹐同你一齊﹐我係想要個關心。你一個唔想知既諗法係唔會好似以前咁﹐我好想喊。但係我眼淚﹐只有一敵。
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| 我今日﹐本來接左佢既電話好想同佢傾下我地D野。但係﹐從琴日MSN佢同我講D說話領到我唔知道點再好似以前咁乜野都傾得。我唔想再講多錯多。不過我太自私﹐我唔講就好唔開心。佢講既話題領我好唔開心。明知道佢喜歡睇既野都係因為另有其人題出泥先。我又唔識。我超唔開心。每日為
左佢喊。雖然係無謂﹐但係好心痛。因為琴日以經唔開心﹐好想佢打個電話問我今日OK嗎。其實我係好容易開心翻。係因為佢琴日都唔開心﹐所以會咁樣同我講﹐不過好HURT。我覺得我好無用。佢又領我亂諗野﹐又無解釋﹐又同我講其他話題但我又唔識。感覺好DOWN。就算佢話我亂諗野﹐起碼你都要知道我以經係亂諗野﹐無再講D題目會激到我。聽下我語氣﹐我都想希望你可以用幾分鐘去開解下我。因為琴日你既說話﹐就有可能會另我變成另外一個人。一個可能唔會再備你知道我諗乜野﹐就算唔開心會係黑暗既房間去吞自己既眼淚﹐會自己每日咁黑口黑面去面對人。其實我自己都唔係好樂觀。唔開心就好想去發泄一下。係因為BEFORE我知你會關心我﹐但係現在我唔肯定﹐我唔知點去再同你傾D乜﹐因為我真係好驚我既唔開心會另你唔開心﹐然後就話我。我唔知。我唔知現在的你係唔係真係我當初認識個位。我唔敢講野﹐雖然好想講﹐但係我吞左我想講D野﹐因為我RATHER唔開心。不過我感覺心裡面有好多好多既刺。感覺好辛苦。除左佢同埋神之外﹐ONLY佢地可以開解我﹐不過現在得我自己。好寂莫﹐好寂莫。有時候感覺到其實我唔配做任可人既另一半。我越諗我先知道我對自己無信心。感覺好似當初識你既時候。一樣既感覺。好驚﹐好亂﹐好辛苦﹐無肯定﹐無信心。因為你無備我個種肯定﹐個種信心。所以好亂﹐好痛﹐好痛﹐好痛。其實你知唔知我有幾痛呀?有時痛到好難去呼吸﹐有時半晚三更起身去喊一喊。就算祈下檮都會有小小幫助﹐但係因為我信心唔夠﹐所以感覺唔多。如果佢係錫我既話佢明知我既問題係未解決﹐佢會聽到我既語氣﹐我會拖長時間唔講野﹐佢會問下我""你真係無事?""問下三四次﹐我就會講﹐不過﹐我都驚我講太多﹐佢就無得講。因為我知道﹐我D野﹐佢ONLY會話﹐傻啦﹐無諗咁多啦﹐我錫你一個﹐但係我唔係想要尼D答案﹐我係想要肯定既答案﹐起碼會講起以前點識我﹐我既好處﹐就算有缺點﹐點解會同我一齊。我平時唔會問太多﹐因為無左信心﹐先想知。我無得問啦。我覺得自己好煩。好唔開心。又一次咁﹐度過空虛﹐寂莫﹐心痛的感覺。(*SIGH* 我知﹐可能好多錯字﹐無辦法啦﹐鬼咩﹐好想吐出我的淚)
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| Have you guys heard about the swine flu? As I was watching the news, I started to think about myself. I was sick for 4 days and I think it is getting worse. My other thinking is maybe I've been up doing my hw and studying that's why I lack sleep and the sickness is building up. I went online and read the symptoms and it said its just acts like a normal flu. *sigh, I don't know...I'm freaking out...The more I think of it, the more I think I do have the flu. What am I trying to kid...ya maybe myself, haha...Cuz I don't want to die yet...Did they say anything about sneezing over 30 times a day? I mean it could have been allergies, but slight fever and feeling fatigue does not fit the allergy section. I'm just being paranoid and overreacting, but o well...I've been so tired to think and all I want to think about now is the hw that I have to turn in by the end of this week and my tests are coming up. I'm putting stress and pressure. At this point, I want to lock myself up and don't do anything. I don't want to talk to anybody, go out, or do anything, but I know if I'm going to hide and ignore everything, in the end, I will have many things to catch up and it will be worse. I've been praying and sometimes I get very impatient. I don't blame God, but I blame myself for not being nice to myself these couple of days. Is it because of my female hormones? Sorry for being so specific, but I do care about the world. It is just that I don't know how to relax and think clearly. I guess my sickness is getting to me. I'm making myself weaker. I might need some antibiotics to help my fight off the evil sickness in my body. oi...I feel like a dead zombie...anyways, pray for my health and hopefully I'm just being a bit childish and trying to be hide myself for a while. I want to breathe. If my friends are there to support me and to cheer my on, well not just friends, but families and brother and sister from church, I may be able to feel lifted again. Hopefully...maybe...well, I know it will ^^ My Lord will hear my prayers. I just need to be a bit stronger...
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| I've been making friends at a different school. I am not saying its a bad thing, but a person telling another person that I am nosy, in chinese meaning, "bat" kind of hurts me. I admit, yes, I am nosy, but I mostly do it out of caring. I don't want a person to feel left out and that is why I try to find some kind of topic to talk to each other. I don't like when people ask me, so is there any late gossips? I mean I will be willing to tell u if u don't ask it like I know everything. Haha, I don't mind people calling me "bat", but sometimes I won't say it, so I tell my stuff instead of others. I sometime pretend I wanted to hear what's going on, but really all I do is butt in and give suggestions and stop talking about it. Then again, people thinks I am being nosy. Mocking me is fine, but mocking my laughter just makes me seem like u don't want me to be happy. I don't know. Does my laugh annoy people? Ya, I get hurt easily, but when I think of God, I feel so much better. if I did things to hurt someone, I may feel bad for hurting them, but if its a positive reaction and its something cheery, I don't think its something wrong. I know God wants me to be happy. I'm a human, I get emotional too. Yup, once again writing in my blog makes me feel so much better. The next time I see those kids, I will just forgive them and try not to talk about ppl stuff. I thought maybe if they hear something good about the person, then maybe they won't any judgement. Well, except that magician boy. I almost hate him with all my guts, but at a second thought, maybe he have some kind of issues or he is lost....*sigh something like that....o well, I'm glad I blogged about this situation...one thing out of my mind, next thing is hw and tests. Good luck | | |
| Hello hello hello...funny how I am here all of a sudden. I read my past entries on my xanga and laughed. I haven't realized that I was such a spoiled gf ^^. I believe I changed for the past year, thanks to the Lord. I know what I have now is the most important. I really don't need anything, but maybe goals to succeed in the future. What I really want most is my family to be happy. God has given me so much, I can't ask much of Him, but still I'm greedy to ask Him for strength, wisdom, and many more a person to need to go through their life. I have so much to say, so much to write, so much to do, but hard to express. Sometimes, I do want to hide from others and talk to God alone. I am fortunate to have this life. *sigh I am so tired though xP. <3<3<3 | | |
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